angry beavers

A group of "65 year-old lesbians" came into work today. I was not aware of any post-menopausal lesbian convention happening this weekend, but hey. My boss and I were working beside each other when one in particular came out (hah) and said what their "deal" was.

"We're just a bunch of old lesbians ordering sandwiches!"
"..um...I'm sorry...what?" was all I could say even though my eyebrows-arched with surprise-undoubtedly expressed more. It's not everyday one dozen grandmothers attracted to the female form come into our shop. I later realized that this woman had to be hitting on my boss. She directed the "just a group of 65-year old lesbians" line at her seven times and I know we do not offer a discount for alternative lifestyles-we wont even bump off a few cents for firemen. My boss kind of humored her in a totally platonic way by saying that she "hopes she'll look that good at sixty-five."

and then they totally scissored each other.

JUST KIDDING.

So after we dished out the tenth sisterhood sammich, one woman comes up to the counter and demands that I tell her there is "Swiss cheese on [this] sandwich!!"

"there is swiss cheese on this sandwich."
...which there totally was.

Of course this was not sufficient as the woman gets all Gloria Steinem on me and shoves her Tomato and Avocado towards my face in an effort to prove me wrong. The customer is always right, and double points if you are an original bra-burner* Le lesbian informed us that the cheese was, in fact, Cheese Whiz and this experience was not her "idea of a 'fun' lunch." She should come on Wednesday afternoons when we drink menstruation blood and read excerpts from Radical Feminism. The whole situation was kind of silly. The woman did not even try her sandwich! For someone so open-minded, you would think food would not deter her beliefs. My boss and I named the woman "Barb" and came up with different scenarios surrounding her.

Some days, I really do love where I work.





*totally a myth, never actually happened in second-wave feminism.