I'd shame him with his own lawn

Father's Day is only five months away:

satan death metal like whoa!

I am in severe like with my Women's Studies class this semester. The course I took this past fall was really nice, but [wo]man, this one is heaps better. Not only is the class size probably an eighth of last semester's, but I enjoy the course material more. Rather than learning about feminism and gender stereotypes on a holistic scale, we focus more instead on the aspects of a female's role in society- hence the title of the course: Women in Society. Long post short: we read interesting essays that are certainly, to say the least, attention-grabbing. One such reading is Goal 666.

Goal 666 details the importance of a women's place in death metal while reading very much like the screenplay to a Christopher Guest mockumentary. Goal 666 begins with the narrator advising the reader that he must "love nature" and "rape nature for satan!" oops. forgot to capitalize the S in Satan. I should be an editor. As the essay progresses, the narrator puts to rest any misunderstandings by informing us that the Vikings were, in fact, "the baddest of ass." The narrator, whose real name is Gabe, coincidentally also happens to be lead vocalist (is that too femme for death metal?) of ultra bitchin' death metal-slash-HXC band, the LORDS OF SLUDGE!! Gabe finds conflict among his Dark Lord-worshipping band when a new member is added; and not just any member, but a chick. A chick with a synthesizer. Of course, having riot grrrl who will get blood (other than a sheep's) all over your tour bus is bad enough-but one who plays such a "fairy" instrument is, like, a bajillion times worse.

Gabe: "Of all the limp-dick instruments in the universe, the synthesizer is the most flaccid...Particularly if played by a female, whose place it is to be soft and pink and stay in her scented room, praying to the moon."

Don't tell Kate Bush that.

AFTER A LONG INTERNAL DEBATE or some other lame Lords of Sludge soliloquy, Gabe finally sucumbs (oh doesn't he wish) to Liv's synth during their big performance. Seeing that this "major" show is the only one accounted for throughout the entire essay, it has more Talent Show appeal than Headbanger's Ball. Nonetheless, the band pulls through and even finds time to sing a little ditty from the Rodgers and Hammerstein classic, South Pacific.

Goal 666 is an interesting essay and if read backwards, it even convinces you that suicide is "cool" because Satan thinks so.

Craigslist Cameo: Part Deux

For the second time within a week, I make an appearance on good 'ol Craigslist. This time, however, I know it's me. I think. I mean, it has to be.

http://columbia.craigslist.org/mis/1017272261.html


UPDATE: I just got a call from John. He posted the Craigslist missed connection. jerk.

Hay Girl Hay, this week:

Local band, Death Becomes Even the Maiden! Thursday, 10-midnite WUSC 90.5 FM. OH YEAH and I think we're voting for the Hay Girl of the week again. Nominations welcome?

My Bloody Valentine

This Valentine's Day, I'm going to spend a superfluous amount of money making special cards for people I care about. Or at least those I care about most; because in reality, I will tire of cutting construction paper after my third valentine. Thus, my mother, best friend, and special oppposite-sex friend are the most "special" of them all. Only two weeks left, time to get crafty.

Nobody ever gave me one of these in Mrs. Watt's fourth grade class...

My friend Kendal bought this exact one from an antique mall I believe.

I have a set of these I purchased from Hip-Wa-Zee two years ago, circa 2002, their date is prime "vintage."

Or I could just hand out this reliable one:

fast food fashion

nobody dressed up..

50 is the new 20

Marcelle said I was on Craigslist as a "missed connection." I'm equally creeped and flattered:

http://columbia.craigslist.org/mis/1011352628.html