So far, it blows-but not chunks, just a high fever and a throat so sore you would think it was strep. I should know better: the last time I was so convinced I had strep it was actually mono. I have been quarantined, which is kind of cool except for the whole fall break thing. I get full exemption from my classes and yet, I would not have to go anyway. I suppose not having to make up as much work will benefit itself later-but fuck this! I am missing three parties -two of which I helped plan! I kind of hate myself because I posted this and scoffed at the Daily Gamecock for sending us students the foreboding message of "Swine flu to hit campus in September." Images of the fetal pig I sliced and diced in high school are flooding back...
I suppose I now have a chance to get one or seven of these.
"Why Dana, with your knowledge of bacon lung so great-what is it like?" you may ask yourself. Ha ha ha well, I shall tell you. It is called Swine flu because it is that-the flu. Although I have never had the flu, I feel like I can say "fuck you media" for making this come across as Ebola. I really did not want anyone to know that I had H1N1 because people get so weird about it, but really, as long as your immune system is up to par, hands are washed, and you eat well (and you better eat well now because you are not going to eat a damn thing once you contract the Swine. Total loss of appetite: yet another perk of H1N1.) things should work out You get reeeeeeal doped up on NyQuil as much as you can because the medicine you take, Tamiflu, does almost nothing for pain relief. Oh and you sweat. A lot. My god do you sweat. It's pretty gnarly, because I have not showered since Monday (don't judge), have not washed my hair since Saturday-and I shake constantly. I'm my momma's little crack baby. AND IT GETS WORSE: Brian Litrell, of Backstreet Boys fame, also has Swine Flu-and he's being a total puss about it. I don't even want to tell people the "it's like we practically made out!!" joke anymore. Swine flu? More like whine flu!! heyo!
Yes I wear a mask, I even get to sleep in it.
this man does not live in fear.
Okay this is awesome.
3 comments:
ohhh no i hope you feel better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i love miranda july.
hate that you're sick.
but do buy one or seven of those masks.
feel better boo! it's going around somethin serious @ CofC too :-/
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